1. He puts hollandaise on ice cream.
2. In his student days, he was fired as a highway flagman for inattentiveness.
3. As a cardinal he wrote a treatise proposing that the Catholic Church change its name to The Facts of Life Fan Club in an effort to draw in more converts.
4. He can recite the names of all 50 states with a gerbil in his mouth.
5. He supports the Polish government’s historical claim over Tibet, which is founded on the notion that it broke away in the early 11th century and drifted east.
6. He is allergic to Margaret Atwood.
7. He cried during “Deep Impact.”
8. His PokerStars id is Ducky.
9. He believes that modern packaging was designed by the devil.
10. He’s laughing over my shoulder as I type this.
