Chomp. Chomp. Dead. The Online Comedy Community

All you kids today are in to “casual” sex, aren’t you? But why so casual?

What ever happened to formal sex? It’s crazy, but it seems that kids today don’t even care about having legally sound documents recording the history of their humpin’. That just doesn’t make sense to me.

Back in my day, things worked differently. I’d show up for a date, of course bringing my lawyer along. My date would show up with hers. If my date didn’t couldn’t afford a lawyer, we had one appointed by the State (Curtesy of the Department of Gettin’ In On). We’d meet up for dinner at a moderately priced restaurant and some intense negotiations.

After dessert, it was time for us to get down and busy…completing the manditory T61-G forms (Consent of Sexification). After some discussion, we had agreed on some key points such as amount of foreplay and acts involved, but we couldn’t immediatly agree on some other important issues. We both knew something would have to give…so I told her I would consent to her demands for 25 minutes of post-orgasm cuddling if she made me pancakes in the morning. She agreed that this was fair.

We signed the final forms in triplicate and sent copys home with our lawyers.

We then proceeded to go outside and “do the nasty” behind a dumpster, as per our agreement.